I’m pretty sure you have heard of the news about Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady. Okay, if you’re living in a cave, you might not know that the couple just filed for divorce. And they’re both officially single. Can they start dating during divorce? If Leonardo DiCaprio would call Gisele, can she start dating Leo while her divorce from Tom isn’t final?
Is It Okay to Start Dating During Divorce?
This question often comes up for soon-to-be divorcees. Many divorce lawyers would go against it.
Unfortunately, it is not that simple. The reason for this is that divorcing clients are lonely and stressed out. They long to meet someone new to have fun.
However, if you do date while your divorce isn’t final yet, it might have some expensive consequences.
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What are the Costs of Dating While Divorce is Pending?
Dating, per se, means that you are in one-on-one social contact with another person. You can be in a romantic or sexual relationship with that contact. But it still draws scrutiny.
It may also affect the result of your divorce case, even if you are Christian dating.
While the divorce is still pending, you should not start dating. It means don’t go and install eHarmony to find a new lover.
If you do date while you are not legally separated, it will only increase the cost of the trial. Keep in mind while the process is still pending, you are still married to the person you are trying to divorce.
But judges rarely punish people who start dating once they have permanently separated from their spouse.
Then again, dating can cause unnecessary stress to the more expensive divorce.
Related: Can a Christian date?
Reasons You Must Wait Until Divorce is Finalized
1. Shorten the Process
If your partner has not come to terms with your separation and he knows that you are dating someone else, it may not go well with him. For him, you are pouring salt on his wounds.
Keep in mind that if a person is upset, he’ll do anything to make life a living hell. He is less likely to settle the process amicably.
In other words, your former partner may want to make you feel miserable.
2. Prevent Jeopardizing the Settlement
You are only legally separated or divorced if the divorce decree is signed and delivered.
Without the signed decree, you could be committing adultery if you start to date someone else the process is still ongoing.
If the judge finds that you start dating while still not legally separated, he could award your spouse a larger portion of your estate.
3.) Avoid Infuriating Your Children
It is a tumultuous time for you and your kids when you go through a divorce. But it’s actually your kids who will take the hard punch.
Now, if you bring someone new into the mix, it can be confusing for them. This is especially true if your kids are still young.
Then, when you start dating, you are taking precious time away from your kids.
Keep in mind that children’s mental health is fragile at this moment. You need to be there for them so they understand the process.
4.) Make It Easier to Obtain Co-Parenting Custody
If your spouse knows that you are dating someone else and he’s hurt, he may not share custody with you. His lawyer will use it against you.
Your ex-partner might fight every item in your parenting agreement. He might also not allow you to keep your child an extra day for a trip.
5) Heal Faster
Divorce is a cataclysmic battle. It feels like death for some people. Thus, you will feel every stage of grief. There’s denial, anger, and depression before you accept reality.
Thus, before you date, make sure that everything is finalized. Dating before that will only slow down the motion of healing.
Let yourself go through the healing process first. You’ll soon thank yourself because you’ll be fully prepared to start a new relationship if you don’t have a lot of baggage carrying on your shoulder.
What to Do During Divorce?
Dating is out of the question. But there are still things that you can do to forget about the proceeding.
You can start socializing. But avoid being paired with someone.
Attend events and network socially. When you meet someone you like, make sure that you explain to the person about your situation.
You can exchange contact details. However, you must avoid having one-on-one contact until you are legally separated.
You may also join a divorce support group that can help you cope with your feelings of loss.
Hanging out with your close friends is also ideal. But whatever you do, don’t date during a divorce.
The judge may decide that your new relationship is one of the reasons your marriage failed. It could lead a judge to give your spouse more of your marital assets.
When the divorce is final, you can start dating. But don’t introduce your new partner to your kids just yet. Instead, wait for at least six months to do it.
And make sure that you don’t get pregnant before your divorce is final. If you do get pregnant, it will only prolong your divorce case.
The judge may request a paternity test to determine custody. You may also be required to submit supporting documents.
But no judge will ban dating during the divorce. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to date someone else. The court may punish you if you use marital funds to date.
And if your ex-spouse accuses you of committing adultery because you start dating during a divorce, the court may consider it a factor when deciding property division or alimony.
After the Divorce
The only time you start dating is after the divorce is final. You are free to date anyone you wish. You can even remarry.
But make sure to read the divorce decree to know what you can and can’t do during a divorce.
If you are going through a divorce, consider talking to a family law attorney. Then talk about dating during a divorce. If he’s not against it, then by all means use the safest dating site.